Aldi Want For Christmas Is You

Sometimes there are places which you never go to. You don’t even know anyone who does. But then all of a sudden, you meet a series of folk who have been there, or are going there.

Kazakhstan is an example of this. One week, nothing: never heard of anyone who has been there. The next, there are like five people in a row who have been out on holiday or business. What’s that all about?

I believe this is what Malcolm Gladwell calls ‘The Tipping Point’, described in his book of the same name as “the moment of critical mass, the threshold, the boiling point. Ideas and products and messages and behaviors [sic] spread like viruses do." so what better way to push your business towards a tipping point, than with a good old PR stunt...

The idea of a ‘lost leader’ in Supermarkets, a cheap product to draw people in, in the hope that while you’ve got the shopper there, they might also buy a loaf of bread, a can of beans and some pork cylinders for supper, is nothing new. It’s just another form of advertising spend for the Supermarket, as it is making such great profit on the other items, that they can afford a small loss on the product originally on offer.

And so to Aldi. A shop that needs to reach its tipping point. A bunch of, actually quite good, TV adverts has seen this once unknown German Discount Supermarket battling against Lidl to become the go-to discount store in times of recession and economic uncertainty. With 450 stores in the UK (Lidl trumps it with 580) it needs to drive footfall towards its doors in the run up to the biggest shopping time of the year, Christmas.

What better way to whip the whisky world in to a frenzy than to knock out some old liquid at, what can only be described as, an unbelievable price. Try these on for size: a 24 year old single malt for £29.99. But, more amazing than that, a 40 Year Old Single Malt Scotch for... £49.99

£49.99. Yeah, that’s right. £49.99.

Now, I know what most of you are thinking “Honestly, you’d have to pay me to go in to an Aldi. It’s the Mos Eisley of supermarkets, drenched in the stench of humanity.” and you’d be right. I popped in to one last week just to prepare myself for the inevitable trip in for a bottle of 40 Year Old and it wasn’t a fun experience. It was like being in a Wes Anderson movie, if Wes Anderson had a crystal meth problem. Less Every Little Helps and more Care In The Community. Less Jamie Oliver, more Ronald McDonald. Less Waitrose, more Waiting For Godot...

But we should really put the medium of the sale to one side for a moment. It’s a shop, it’s going to be selling whisky at a knock-down price and making it available to the masses. What can be wrong with that? Nothing, so long as the whisky is good. So let’s find out if it is:

Glen Marnoch – 24 Year old Single Malt – 70cl – 40% abv (£29.99 from Aldi)

Nose: wet cardboard, steamed veg, Bovril, toasted brown bread.

Palate: Some green banana, a hint of tinned pineapple, sweet tea. But really sweet tea. This is one of the sweetest drams I’ve ever tasted. Once the sweetness hits, and it is not a good, brown sugar sweetness, it’s an artificial sweetener saccharine-style flavour, you don’t get much more out of it.

Finish: Copper and liquorice with a touch of salted caramel give way to damp wood and wet leaves, post-autumn.

Overall: Pretty one dimensional and to be honest, pretty poor. I just can’t get the saccharine flavour out of my mouth and I’m not a fan of very sweet whisky. Not a bottling for me, even at £29.99

Glenbridge – 40 Year Old Speyside Single Malt Whisky – 70cl - 40% abv (£49.99 from Aldi)

Nose: A hint of smoke, some orange peel, marmalade / dry jaffa cake notes. New leather and wax jacket, but the overriding tone is dried orange peel.

Palate: Warming, oily palate of cough sweets, orange again (the middle of a jaffa cake), some wood tones, fresh figs, melon wrapped in param ham and a wee bit of coffee.

Finish: The orange lingers, developing in to cherry sweets and cracked black pepper. This whisky has been matured in European Oak Sherry casks and this really hits through on the finish, adding spices to the stewed fruits of the palate.

Overall: In a word, this stuff is very tasty. Take the age statement off this and it would still be a cracking drink for £49.99. Stick it on, and you have an absolute steal of a whisky. Warning, it does fall apart a little with water.

In summary, the 40 is great, esp at the price they’re knocking it out at. But sadly the 24 Years Old really isn’t that great. The biggest question is why? Why are Aldi doing this? Are they hoping to lure in people who wouldn’t normally shop there, pre-Xmas or are they wanting to reward their loyal customer base with a steal of a whisky?

Either way, with only 3000 bottles across 450 stores, we'll all be pretty lucky if we get hold of one. And so it is that I wish you good luck, yet at the same time apologise in advance for my elbows in your face, as the shutter on my local Aldi rises for the sale.

More Christmas Madness

After our last post it seems that quite a few folks are getting in on the act in the run up to Christmas with liquids and potions galore. And yes, that kind of shamefully means us too.

Firstly we heard the quite bizarre story that super-budget supermarket chain, Aldi were releasing a 40 year old single malt. Once we'd stopped blinking in quiet amazement, assuming it must be a huge wind up, we started to wonder exactly who this might be aimed at, (surely not the man who buys 20 bags of Monster Munch for 99p) which distillery is behind it and more importantly, how much the thing would cost and whether it is any good. Hopefully these things will be revealed over the next few days, but it is certainly a very intriguing release. Imagine the shock on the wife's face when you return with a 50 pack of fish fingers, two dozen toilet rolls, a cheap cordless drill and a bottle of 40yo single malt!!

Secondly, we've been up to mischief with our chums at Master Of Malt again.

This time, it involves an idea that steadily grew one afternoon after a few pints and quickly descended into something chaotic and quite frankly absurd, but with bags of good clean Christmas fun thrown in for good measure. Today, we can proudly say that the very first batch of newly formulated Christmas Bitters go on sale and they certainly do what they say on the label.

As we finished our final round of ales and rather unwisely asked the pub landlord to whip up some Manhattans a thought crossed our slightly befuddled minds. What if you could capture all the great flavours and aromas of Christmas in one bottle, which you could then make some superlative festive cocktails with....

And lo, after much experimentation, we settled on a recipe that features roasted chestnuts, cocoa, allspice, cinnamon, cloves, orange peel, mixed nuts, some all important dates, pine extract, nutmeg, cranberries and smoky Lapsang Souchong tea. We drew the line at roast turkey, wrapping paper and the almighty Christmas family row, but think we got all the major players in there.

And then.... a sign!!

A bearded man in the pub knocked his pint over and uttered the immortal words 'Sweet Jesus Christ!'

Suddenly, in a flash we knew we had yet to add the most important ingredients of all: 23 Carat Gold dust, Frankincense and Myrrh. We even managed to find something called Star Of Bethlehem extract, so threw that in too.

Then the fun really started. Once the mixture was secured in the MOM marrying cask, we thought, why not gently agitate the sleeping liquid by continuously piping the sounds of Phil Spector's Christmas Album through the ends of the cask, with mini speakers?

So apologies to all at the Master Of Malt offices, for having to endure what can only be described as festive sonic torture. At one point, apparently a member of the MOM staff, driven stark raving mad by 'Frosty The Snowman' tried to attack the cask with an axe in a frenzied assault, akin to a crazed Mandrill.

But the good news is that the bitters remained in fine form and you can now see if we've we've gone totally bananas, or whether the idea has actually worked!

Master Of Malt & Caskstrength Present: Christmas Bitters - 58.83% - 100ml

Nose: As Christmas'y as the smell of one of Noel Edmonds' festive jumpers or Cliff Richard's Mistletoe and Wine. Rich spice, a hint of smoke, some aromatic notes and lots of dried fruit.

This man LOVES Christmas

Palate: The spices come to the fore, alongside some sour citrus notes, more dried fruit and some lingering bitter liquorice notes.

We'd recommend pimping up a traditional whisk(e)y based cocktail or trying one of the following:

Festive Whisky Sour:

2 measures The Glenrothes 1985 or Glenfarclas 15yo, alternatively you could try Ballantine's Christmas Reserve blended whisky.

1 measure freshly squeezed lemon Juice

1/2 measure of dark orange marmalade syrup (home made)

1/2 fresh egg white

4 dashes of Christmas Bitters (this can be 'dripped through' the froth on the top of the drink, once it's served, so you can see the addition of the gold, in all its glory!!)

Baked Winter Apple:

50ml Clynelish 14 yo, infused with butter. (basically, heat the whisky gently in a pan, adding a small nob of butter) Chill and then filter off the extra fatty bits with a mini sieve when making the cocktail.

30ml pressed apple juice (cloudy style)

25ml quality English cider

15ml maple syrup (for an extra-sweet treat, try making a rich Muscovado sugar
syrup to use instead!)

15ml fresh lemon Juice

4 dashes of Christmas Bitters.

2 Bar spoons of egg white (to give you a lovely froth)

Shake with ice, until extra frothy.

The specially formulated Christmas Bitters cost £12.95 - for more information - visit:

Master Of Malt